‘We argue with the people we love!’ everyone said. And needless to say, it is true! We argue with the people we love because their opinions matter to us. However, what has always amazed me is how we all at some point of time or the other manage to turn a discussion into an argument. I have been on the forefront at times.
However, it is only recently I discovered the root of all arguments that ever happened between two human beings. That’s right! All arguments that ever happened!
I was sitting across my best-friend while having tea and we were talking about how religion and humanity were related. Him being a strongly opinionated leader and me being a neutral analyst often results in disagreements but it never really launches an argument missile so to say. However, our strong love for humanitarianism and opposing views about religion led us to an argument.
We cribbed for a good half an hour and the last line I said to him, “You never listen to what others have to say.”, and that was that. We went back to finishing our tea and then walk home. What we realized while we walked back home was that almost one of out every five sentences we spoke, we wanted the other person to listen to what we were saying.
We revisited most of the arguments we had with each other and with other people. And we realized, this is it. We do not want the other person to agree or disagree. We want them to just listen. Our argument is a way of letting the other person know that what I think may also be correct in a way or this is what I feel or think.
It all boils down to acknowledged and validated from the other party. As humans, we are bound to be attached, to seek and give love and all of it stems from wanting to be validated. The root of all argument is wanting to be heard and to be acknowledged. The root and the solution – both.
And you want to be acknowledged by the person you care about and not someone who is not a part of your life. You want to feel validated by the people you love. Pretty much makes sense why you would argue with the people you love, doesn’t it?