Yes! Adam faces it too!

Few weeks back, on a Friday, I visited one of my dear friends at a coffee shop. He was back from work and I being a jobless woman made the poor lad wait until I shopped for a birthday gift for another friend of mine. The thing with him is you can be pretty straight forward and have amazing deep conversations, however, he keeps you on your toes with his wit.

Well, I rushed to the place with a bonsai in my hand. We settled down at a table in a seemingly quiet corner of the coffee house. But it turned out it was not. On our left were two men not really talking (two weeks down I am still trying to figure out what they were doing) and diagonally opposite to us was probably a couple. The woman was so loud, it literally irked me and my mate to a point where I wanted to give her a piece of my mind. But I couldn’t, you know why! I had to be so loud while talking to him that he had to ask me to keep my voice low.

Trust me, even upon screaming at my polite best, the waiter in a Maharashtrian wedding has never looked back at me, ever. No wonder, I now patronize the buffet system.

My friend was receiving multiple messages and phone calls while we were trying to make a conversation and he would go on to check them. While he proceeded to pick up the phone call, I started looking over his shoulder at a young child who entered the cafe with a guitar in his hand accompanied by his mother maybe, ready to pluck the strings. While I was busy imagining how he would grow up to be a wonderful musician, my friend was back from his conversation and suddenly took to the topic of why there is no law for men similar to the one for women – which is eve-teasing. The law basically provides for punishment for inappropriate advances made by a man towards a woman.

I totally did not have an answer to it. I was dumbfounded while I tried to maintain a poker face. Yeah, that’s what years of stage drama does to you. It helps you maintain a poker face even in the most terrifying hours of your life when you literally have no clue what to say. The other good reaction stage drama teaches you in such situation is to smile away.

He went on to further explain why eve-teasing is called what it is called.

He calmly said, “Eve as in a woman. Eve from Adam and Eve”

In my mind, I could have literally killed him in that moment for assuming that I might not know what an eve meant. But hey, when you love your people, it is humanly impossible to kill them. And my friend is a really lovely creature.

However, his question was intriguing. I have seen multiple men within my social circle and acquaintances who got pestered at workplaces or in other settings by women. People find this unusual or shocking when they hear about such incidents. But they do happen! However, many a times these occurrences go unnoticed because we as a society are not ready to accept that a man would have to go through this or he does in fact. Men know this and hence many of them bear with the mental catharsis by women due to lack of confidence in the society and judicial system.

It is difficult for them to even tell their friends that they are facing such a situation as there are very high chances that their issue could be made fun of. More than sixty per cent of men do not report such an incident with the fear of being ridiculed and oppressed.

A lack of catharsis could also lead to various other troubles for these people including stress and lack of performance at work or school. How many times has a male friend of yours tried to tell you that he is going through mental or sexual abuse and you have nudged him with your elbow and joked,

“Oh come on, we both know you wanted it.”

No, he doesn’t. Instead of helping him release his stress occurring due to this harassment, you are making it difficult for him to express himself and consequently proving that the society will never be able to understand what he has to share.

More than the loss of dignity it is the inability to express of the man is what troubles me in these scenarios. Isn’t it biased? A breach of feminism? A blotch on the face of both the constitution and humanity?

Feed for thought it is. And the more I thought about it I realized we as human beings are so cowardly and restrictive that we avoid the newly emerging problems around us only for them to be blown up some time in future. We need to be able to lend an impartial listening ear to all our fellow human beings. We need to be empathetic and judgemental for once every time we meet a friend, family member or an acquaintance. 

We need to empower every individual on this planet and we need to be human enough to understand it. We need to support our Adam as much as we need to strengthen our Eve.

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Salsa !

I had started learning salsa dance-form two years back somewhere in June. My friend from work started giving salsa lessons to me in a green room at our workplace itself. Insanity is what we were experiencing. I was getting conscious even when no one was in the room. (Yep, that’s me!) The lessons went on for a week as I was about to leave for a bridal shower where I completely messed up the whole dance as I did not know we were supposed to dance with random partners. I thought I could dance alone.

Cut to a day before yesterday, me and my friends are on our way to another wedding we are preparing for and we planned to repeat the age-old mistake of doing salsa. Since I needed a thorough brush-up for a couple-salsa dance I decided to find myself a tutor and I found one. Now the thing is you need to bring another person as your dance partner which I didn’t. I told the lady about it and she offered me two choices to walk out the door and find someone or she had some guy who was looking for a dance partner to learn salsa with.

I agreed. Well what choice did I have. She said I could come the next day and then we could start with the lessons. It was May 1, Labour day and a national holiday.

I reached her place around 3 pm and waited for my dance-partner to come. I was scrolling through my Instagram feed, when I heard squeaky new shoes enter the room. My trainer entered along with a really tall guy. “And this is Aneesh!”, she said.

I gasped. “Did you drink Complan or what ?”, a lame reply to start with. He smiled.

We put down everything else aside. Asked each other general questions. I excused myself for few moments and returned to Elvis Presley’s Bossa Nova Baby ringng in the room and Aneesh trying to dance along with it. I was really glad because I wanted to perform on the same song and seemed like my new friend liked it too.

While I was worried about how I would manage to do salsa with a six ft tall guy, on seeing I am literally burst laughing loudly. The fact that he was so tall and not a little bit of fat on his body,  he looked extremely funny while doing salsa, all by himself. The energy and all was awesome but I just couldn’t control myself as I saw these extremely long hands and legs trying to figure out where they need to go for the next dance-step.

He stopped the music and asked me what happened.

“Nothing, You are just super-tall.”

“Oh yeah yeah. I get it now. I must be looking really weird dancing. Plus I have not done this in a really long time now.”

Our instructor walked in. “So let’s start. Please stand next to each other. We are going to start from basics. I am sure you know how this goes but I am going to do my job well.”

Yes, yes, of course. No dance teacher will ever say to your face that you are a donkey for not being able to do a simple step. They will always take an onus of teaching you even the simple task such as walking a step back and a step forth.

“Follow me!”, she said. Her sweet voice had suddenly become thick and strong.

“One, two, three!”, she counted as she took the sideways steps

We did them few times.

“Now, faster. Didn’t you both have lunch?”, such a stereotype, I felt.

We started moving faster and I am not sure why but I looked at my dance partner. I literally felt like dancing along with a lamp post. A small difference, A MOVING LAMP POST. I then looked at my instructor who was hiding her laughter by holding her teeth tight against each other and I cracked up, this time even louder.

He continued, probably, expecting that I would stop laughing and join in again.

I did not. I just could not. With every step he took, it only made me roar with laughter every time I saw him do a move.

The instructor stopped the music. Looked at me slightly with anger and then asked me to pull myself together until she comes back from her kitchen downstairs.

I looked at him and got myself into another fit of laughter.

“You are crazy, aren’t you?”, he asked. He was really pissed now.

“I am extremely sorry. But you are just really tall. I mean we are not going to be able to learn this together.”, I tried controlling my laughter by speaking less and conveying more of the message.

“And now I do know you are. See you tomorrow, can’t do it today with you laughing in my face.”

For a moment I thought, he is going to be really mad. I mean who would dance with a stranger who keeps laughing at your physique and be so good even after multiple outbursts. My laughter ride stopped right there.

We met the next day and realized our instructor was unwell. Until evening, I just kept smiling replaying the scene where he would move across the hall with his some smooth and some awkward moves and I had bouts of mini-laughter with myself at work. People must have thought I was crazy.

I went back to the class today and waited until he came. And then as we entered the class, we came to know that our instructor was not available today due to some emergency contract she got.

We burst into laughter.

“This is never going to happen, is it ?”, I asked.

“Well, it doesn’t look like.”

“See you tomorrow then. Bye.”, I was still replaying the same thing in my mind and was about to burst out again. I controlled myself and walked as fast as I could towards the way out.

Poor thing. But seriously, I am still not sure why my trainer would put us together for this. It is a almost a difference of a foot and more, and moreover, it is really like watching a pole moving across the room, but with some grace.

As of now, he must be thinking I am really crazy. But who cares, it is a matter of another two weeks. Until then I need to keep my batteesi zipped up.

You know when you know! – Conclusion

“Because?”, I could not help but wonder how insane he must think I am. I cannot reason my own thoughts or opinions. Anyway, who cares. I am not seeing him again  – I thought.

“Okay, you tell me.”, now I questioned him

“Nothing!”, he said

I hate when people do that. I am not going to accept a ‘Nothing’ for a question that might irk me every once a while later on. I rolled my eyes in a stupid fashion like I always do to indicate my dismay. Well I am not a hypocrite, but I really did not know the answer to his first question.

“I mean, you just know. It is not just about a person, but it could be your job, some hobby or some mundane routine thing. When  you are doing it or being with someone you are in love, with you just know. You feel happy about it. No matter how stressful your job is, how boring the activity is or how crazy the person you are dating is, YOU JUST KNOW.”, he said.

“What are you, a writer ?”, I asked. Obviously, with so much of philosophy and wisdom this guy was dropping, I was bound to think that.

“Oh no. I am just a normal person in love.”

“Oh my God, here comes the mush. Crazy guy.”, I was done with people being mushy and over the top about love.

“What? It is normal. But you clearly are not normal.”, he pointed at my glass still completely filled with tea which was now slightly better than at lukewarm temperature.

“I like my tea slightly warm. I don’t like hot liquid burning down my throat and intestine.”, I finally took a sip. Aah! What a moment. I gazed at the beautiful lights before me.

“So what does your girl do ?”, I asked.

“She is a software engineer.”, he said. “And I hate IT.”, he smiled as he gazed at the stars. A happy one.

“Oh boy!”, I said.

“No, no. It is all really good. We just don’t chat about our work when we are together. Although her work is a bigger mess than mine. She is in the service department, even worse. But I understand, she is hardworking. She loves spending time coding stuff. I don’t even know how it works.”

“So you came here to meet her… and now you are going back home, to Pune?”, I was desperately trying to save myself from having to hear all the mushy things he would later on say about.

“Oh no. I came down from Rajasthan.”, he smiled as he watched my mouth wide open.

“You are crazy. How long have you been with this person?”

“Two months. But it is a weird strong connection.”

“So you know her for two months and you came all the way from Rajasthan to Bangalore to meet her?”

“Yep!”

“How do you know this is going to work in the long run?”

“You just know. You know when you know.”, he smiled.

The harsh whistle sound from the bus reckoned us. I was amazed with this crazy guy. We did not chat much. But the thought has been lingering in my mind since then.

 

‘You know when you know.’

Ashton Kutcher : The Man Beyond Glamour!

Apart from obvious reasons for following Mr Kutcher such as his tall suave physique, an undeniably smart look and gleeful eyes, I follow him on almost all social platforms for reasons that are appealing to both my mind and heart. As naive and ignorant as the Michael Kelso (That 70’s show), as beautiful and hardworking as Oliver (A Lot Like Love), as carefree as Adam (No Strings Attached) and as technology-driven as Steve Jobs (Jobs), he has proved himself otherwise as well in the worldly affairs. It is his combined range of work on-screen and off-screen that captivates the attention of all categories of audience.

Mr Kutcher is not just an actor but also a tech-investor, a fact that almost every individual using social media knows. What is inspiring about his choice of companies or technologies that he invests in is his business and social acumen. While A-Grade’s investments in Spotify, Uber, Couple, and Airbnb is noteworthy, Mr Kutcher’s vision behind identifying the ventures which ease the lives of consumers by saving time or energy is notable.

Speaking of the actor’s social activity, a startling case one could read is the foundation of DNA. Mr Kutcher founded DNA with his then wife Demi Moore. DNA works towards not only creating awareness about human sex trafficking but also towards ending it. The kind of technologically advanced set-up this NGO has, it is evident that the founders are not just emotionally and socially intelligent but also use their awareness about technology by using the geo-tracking system to hunt down child trafficking with the support from the UN.

Mr Kutcher’s opening statement to the Senate of Foreign Committee Relations about ending the human trafficking through his NGO Thorn (previously known as DNA) was not only a consolidated presentation of facts and figures and work that his organization does but also a passionate plea to its audience to understand the significance of the child abuse across the country – physically and through internet.

Ashton is what I shall call him in this paraphrase – has been able to intertwine all his best qualities to not only make sure that his investments are in good hands but also that those hands are adding value to the society. Every time Ashton shares a personal experience with his audience, there is not just laughter that erupts in the room but he drops wisdom every once a while. And this wisdom is not other-worldly to be difficult to understand but simple things in life like keeping your people happy. Ashton is as simple a human being as each one of us however with an aware mind and a good intent to help the world with it.

I would suggest every individual who reads this post to if not follow then learn about Mr Kutcher’s work. Behind the glamorous and beautiful person is a compassionate and woke human being working for the betterment of society

THE CHOICE!

It is difficult to make choices sometimes.

Sometimes because you have to sacrifice comfort, sometimes because none of the options seem to do you any good or they are all perfect, sometimes because you are selfish and sometimes because you are relentlessly selfless.

But when the fork end appears in your life you have to choose one and move ahead.

LIFE IS LIKE RIDING A BICYCLE. TO KEEP BALANCE YOU MUST KEEP MOVING – an Einstein quote my friend, Pranav Continue reading “THE CHOICE!”

Beautiful !

Being an all-time chirpy customer relationship manager would sometimes take a toll on Sam’s mental peace. She would come home irked and once in a while mad at the world. In the evening, with a cup of tea Sam would devote 15-20 minutes thinking of the future she did not know how she could get. Today was no different. She looked out the window – at the mango tree which was yielding just yet. She would compare herself to these trees, which were slaves of the weather and season to bear fruits of their own.

Today she had no thoughts in her mind. Not a single vibration that would disturb the abyss she was plunging herself into. Continue reading “Beautiful !”

How She Killed Jonathon’s Son – Part 2

She had been bitter about his profession since his death. She blamed his profession for taking away her childhood sweetheart, her best friend, her lover, her husband and the father of her Sharon. Jonathon died in a car accident while he was driving to his next show in Chicago. He had been super excited about this show and one could see it in his driving. He had received the Emmy’s on the 12th of the February, blessed with a baby boy on the 13th and got his first movie offer on the Valentine’s day.

He was on top of the world! He couldn’t contain his excitement when Shelly called him up to tell him that Sharon was laughing at the first scene of Jon’s TV show – Ricky. the Gentleman. It was indeed a funny scene where Ricky was proposing his girlfriend wearing a blazer on the upper half of his body and boxers on the lower half. Shelly asked Jon to be back home and start the show later the next day. But for Jonathon, serving entertainment was the purpose of his life, his calling and his Continue reading “How She Killed Jonathon’s Son – Part 2”

A Date – The Conclusion!

Sanika screamed, “Oh my God! Is it the book ‘The Seat Of The Soul’? I can’t believe I am finally getting it!”

“No, no! It is not that !”, Tanay was now trying to break open his briefcase. He didn’t want to goof up due to the suitcase on his big night! After all, he was going to ask her the most important question of her life, and find an answer to his big question as well.

“You know what?! I am just going to come back in few minutes. Continue reading “A Date – The Conclusion!”

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